[BETELGEUSE]
You could use a buddy
Don't you want a pal?
(Yes I do! Yes I do!)
[BETELGEUSE]
You could use a buddy
Don't you want a pal?
(Yes I do! Yes I do!)
Girl, the way I see it
Your daddy should be leavin'
And you should stick around!
(spoken)
(And kill him!)
[LYDIA, spoken]
What?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Nothing
(sung)
So, Lydia, don't end yourself
Defend yourself
Daddy is the one you should maim
Together we'll exterminate, assassinate
[LYDIA]
No!
[BETELGEUSE]
The finer points can wait
But first you gotta say my name!
Go ahead and jump but that won't stop him
Here you got a solid plan B option
I can bring your daddy so much pain
All you gotta do is say my name!
Girl, just say it three times in a row
Then you won't believe how far I'll go
I'm on the bench, but coach
Just put me in the game
All you gotta do is say my name
[LYDIA, spoken]
I don't know your name
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Well, I can't SAY it
[LYDIA, spoken]
How 'bout a game of charades?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Yes, let's play it
[LYDIA, spoken]
Two words
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Right
[LYDIA, spoken]
Second word
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] Uh-huh
[LYDIA, spoken] Drink?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] No
[LYDIA, spoken] Beverage?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] No
[LYDIA, spoken] Wine?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] No
[LYDIA, spoken] Juice?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] Yes!
[LYDIA, spoken] Okay
First word
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] Okay
[LYDIA, spoken] Bug?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] No
[LYDIA, spoken] Ant?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] Close, but no
[LYDIA, spoken] Beetle?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]Yes!
[LYDIA, spoken] Betelgeuse?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Wow, I'm impressed
And all you gotta do is say my name three times
Three times in a row it must be spoken
Unbroken
Ready?
[LYDIA, spoken]
Yeah
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] Okay, go...
[LYDIA, spoken] Betelgeuse...
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] Yes
[LYDIA, spoken] Betelgeuse...
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] Yes
[LYDIA, spoken] Beeeeeeeeeeeeee....
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] Oh, oh, this is gonna be so good-
[LYDIA, spoken]
-cause
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] What?
[LYDIA] You're so smart
A stand-up bro
I'll think about your offer
Let you know
But I prefer my chances down below
Betelgeuse
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] Yes!
[LYDIA] Betelgeuse
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] Yes!
[LYDIA]
Being young and female doesn't mean that I'm an easy mark
I've been swimming with piranhas
I don't need a shark
Yes, life sucks
But not that much
Ok, Betelgeuse
Betelgeuse
Be a doll and spare the lecture
[BETELGEUSE] I'm offering you a full-time spectre
[LYDIA] Are you any good?
[BETELGEUSE] You bet'cha
Trust me, baby!
[LYDIA] I just met ya Really it's a flattering offer
[BETELGEUSE] Don't you wanna see Dad suffer?
[LYDIA] I think I'd rather just jump off
[BETELGEUSE] No!
[LYDIA] I may be suicidal
But Betelgeuse, it's not as if I've lost my mind
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] So, playing hardball, huh? You are tougher than you look
[LYDIA, spoken] Just wanna make sure I know who I'm working with
Got any references?
[BARBARA, spoken] Lydia, there you are!
[ADAM, spoken] Are you alright?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] A-Dog, B-Town, my old pals!
[ADAM, spoken] Get away from her! Lydia, this is a dangerously unstable individual
[BETELGEUSE POSESSES BARBARA AND ADAM]
[BARBARA] Betelgeuse is sexy!
[ADAM] Betelgeuse is smart!
[BARBARA & ADAM] BJ is a graduate of Juilliard! He can help We found him on Yelp Our troubles all ended on the day that we befriended him Every word is the truth Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse!
[BARBARA, spoken] What the heck was that?
[ADAM, spoken] So violating!
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] There you go, kid
Couple of five-star reviews
[LYDIA, spoken] What was that?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] That was possession. Any ghost can do that in less than one lesson
[LYDIA, spoken] Any ghost?
[BETELGEUSE, spoken] Pretty much, any ghost'll do sure
[LYDIA, spoken] Then, Betelgeuse, what do I need you for?
[BETELGEUSE] Woah, woah, woah woah woah! Hold up- hold up, girl, I'm your pal They're sweet, but I'm a demon straight from Hell I know, I went a little hard on the sell But we're BF-F-F-F's forever!
[BETELGEUSE gets pushed off the roof of the house by LYDIA] Agh!
[ADAM AND BARBARA, spoken] Lydia!
[LYDIA, spoken] What? He was already dead And you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff
(sung) We don't need that demon The three of us alone can wreck dad's evening Together we can make a grown man weep Guys, I got a dinner date to keep
[ADAM, spoken] Okay, so what's the plan?
[LYDIA (WITH ADAM & BARBARA)] Teach dad a lesson He's gonna freak when we possess him So he wants the perfect daughter I'll lead that lamb to slaughter Yeah, I got game! I'm gonna make him say my name (Make him say your name) I'll make him say my name (Make him say your name) I'll make him say my name (Make him say your name) Not running away! I'll make him say my name!