EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
MOTHER TERESA!
VERSUS!
SIGMUND FREUD!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
MOTHER TERESA!
VERSUS!
SIGMUND FREUD!
BEGIN!
[Verse 1: Mother Teresa]
Mother Teresa, for short, call me “M.T.”
I’m a missionary of charity M.C
Three stripes like Adidas, and I’m doing it for Jesus
A one woman nun-DMC
I got a peace prize, but I’m not friendly
You’re oh-for-thirteen as a nominee
I’ve got lines like the DMV
And being me takes balls, but I ain’t got no D envy!
Who could ask for a better adversary on the mic
Than the father of psychoanalysis? Psych!
Look at that egghead! Mama wants some omelettes
I’m here to crack the mind behind the mom-sex complex
I gave food, bed, medicine, and showers
To those whose flesh leprosy had devoured
Your legacy is people who are mad at their parents
Complaining on the couch for two hundred bucks an hour!
[Verse 2: Sigmund Freud]
Jokes I could make about your looks: abundant
Your chastity vow: redundant
But that’s enough about Mary B
Let’s turn to my favorite subject: me!
I got mouth cancer, wasn’t feeling so hot
Had the doc put me down with a morphine shot
Thank imaginary God I wasn’t in one of your beds
You’d have just sprinkled magic water on my forehead!
I help people live, you watch people die
To get souls for a man in the sky!
You took credit that you didn’t deserve
You’re the fakest Sister Act since Whoopi Goldberg!
You were running Project Pimp the Projects
To you, Calcutta meant Cal-cutta a check!
I can see right through you and you’ve got no flavor
I’m battling a communion wafer!
[Verse 3: Mother Teresa]
You call that a verse? You’re super-ego-trippin’
I gotta say, Sigmund, you’re Freudian slippin’!
I built mad missions in my savior’s name
All you built was a mad tolerance for cocaine!
Obsessed with masturbation, but you’re off the beat
Your flows are so poor I should be washing their feet
Dreams are the only place you’ll ever be as dope as me
I make my rhymes count like beads on a rosary!
Everything is sex to you! After I’m done wrecking you
I’ll have to go and do confession just for standing next to you
You want a second coming? I’ll bless the mic again
I’ll end you like a prayer, motherlover! Amen!
[Verse 4: Sigmund Freud]
I notice that you talk a lot about yourself, which is funny
Since you hide your true feelings like they were other people’s money
Ooh! An exception to my theory! I can’t believe this!
Here we have a Mother that no one wants to sleep with!
You had a nice message, but your methods were detestable
I’ve seen better care given to organic vegetables!
All these tokens and smoke and miracles
You really believe all this stuff? You’re hysterical!
I’ve got the libido to continue to beat ya
But our time is up, Teresa
[Outro:]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC raAAAapPPPp BATTLES OF HISTORY!
Zgodovina EPIC RAP BATTLES!
MAJKA TERESA!
PROTI!
SIGMUND BREZPLAČNO!
ZAČETI!
[1. verz: Mati Tereza]
Mati Tereza, na kratko, pokliči me "M.T."
Sem misijonar dobrodelne organizacije M.C.
Tri trakove, kot je Adidas, in to počnem za Jezusa
Ena ženska redovnica-DMC
Dobil sem nagrado za mir, vendar nisem prijazen
Trinajst ste kot kandidatka
Imam vrstice, kot je DMV
In ker sem jaz, jemlje žogice, ampak jaz nimam nobene zavisti!
Kdo bi lahko prosil za boljšega nasprotnika na mikrofonu
Potem kot oče psihoanalize? Psih!
Poglejte to jajčece! Mama želi nekaj omlete
Tukaj sem, da razbijem um za kompleks mam
Dala sem hrano, posteljo, zdravila in prhe
Tistim, katerih meso gobav je požrlo
Vaša zapuščina so ljudje, ki so jezni na svoje starše
Pritožba na kavču za dvesto dolarjev na uro!
[2. verz: Sigmund Freud]
Šale, ki bi jih lahko naredil glede vašega izgleda: obilno
Vaša zaobljuba o čistosti: odveč
Ampak to je dovolj za Mary B
Pojdiva k moji najljubši temi: jaz!
Zbolela sem za rakom ust, nisem se počutila tako vroče
Če bi me doc odložil s posnetkom morfija
Hvala zamišljenemu Bogu, da nisem bil na eni od vaših postelj
Pravkar bi mi poškropil čarobno vodo po čelu!
Ljudem pomagam živeti, gledaš kako ljudje umirajo
Da bi dobili duše za moškega na nebu!
Vzeli ste zasluge, ki jih niste zaslužili
Ti si ponarejeni zakon o sestri od Whoopi Goldberg!
Izvajali ste Project Pimp the Project
Tebi je Kalkuta pomenila Cal-cutta ček!
Vidim prav skozi vas in nimate okusa
Jaz se borim proti občestvu!
[3. verz: Mati Tereza]
Temu pravite verz? Ste super ego-tripin '
Moram reči, Sigmund, ti si freudovski spodrsljaj!
V imenu svojega rešitelja sem zgradil nore misije
Vse, kar ste zgradili, je bila nora toleranca do kokaina!
Obseden z samozadovoljevanjem, vendar ste premagani
Vaši pretoki so tako slabi, da bi si moral umiti noge
Sanje so edino mesto, ki ga boste kdaj zasuli kot jaz
Naredim, da se moje rime štejejo kot kroglice na rožni venec!
Vse je seks zate! Potem ko bom končal vas
Moral bom iti k spovedi samo, če bom stal zraven
Bi radi drugi prišli? Spet bom blagoslovil mikrofon
Zaključil te bom kot molitev, materina ljubica! Amen!
[4. verz: Sigmund Freud]
Opažam, da veliko govorite o sebi, kar je smešno
Ker skrivate svoje resnične občutke, kot da bi bili denar drugih ljudi
Ooh! Izjema od moje teorije! Ne morem verjeti!
Tu imamo mamo, s katero nihče noče spati!
Imeli ste lepo sporočilo, vendar so bile vaše metode odvratne
Videl sem boljšo nego ekološke zelenjave!
Vsi ti žetoni in dim in čudeži
Res verjameš vsem tem? Ti si histerična!
Imam libido, da bi te še naprej tepel
Toda naš čas je prišel, Teresa
[Outro:]
KDO JE ZMAGAL?
KDO JE NASLEDNJI?
TI ODLOČAŠ!
EPIC raAAAapPPPp ZGODOVINE ZGODOVINE!