EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
J. ROBERT OPPENHEIMER!
VERSUS!
THANOS!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
J. ROBERT OPPENHEIMER!
VERSUS!
THANOS!
BEGIN!
[Verse 1: Thanos]
I am inevitable, immeasurable, inexorable, monstrous
With bars weighing on you harder than your haunting guilty conscious
I am Thanos and I crush tracks like Tesseracts in my palm
You're a pencil-pushing Terran who never learned to love his bomb
Seems you started off a chemist and on your world you were a prodigy
Well, that makes sense because your rhymes are only hot periodically
Man, I burned the Avengers down to embers, sent half your planet to be slaughtered
And now I'm offing Oppenheimer like I did to my daughter
Got a fist of gold when I'm rapping
Six infinity gems what I'm packing
Stick your tiny nuclear dick back into your pants, Dr. Manhattan
Hadron smashing all your atoms, best not collide with me when I'm rhyming
Cause you break and bleed so easy I think I'll call you Oppen-hymen
It's impossible to top me, Oppie, you just don't have the stones
Apparently the only thing you're good at wrecking is a home
Cause you slept with your friend's wife, right there in your friend's bed
Then got another married girl pregnant, you should've gone for the head
Verse 2: J. Robert Oppenheimer
Listening to you took everything I have left
After your raps I am become deaf
You need an Iron, Man, for that wrinkly-ass skin
And that butt-butt-butt-butt-butt-buttchin
Here we go now
Where's your rhythm? I thought you had the time stone?
Your punchlines sound like they came from RhymeZone
You might be something in the MCU
But between us, who's the worst MC? U
Your dialogue's got too many breaks in the syllables
You talk so slow Drax thinks you're invisible
I cause chain reactions when I'm lyrical
Cause I got that fissile material
You were born to Eternals, but came out looking so scary
That your own mother tried to make you a temporary
Meanwhile, I've mastered the atom, more than any man alive
Now I'm here to split you like two and three from five
I'm a peaceful man, but I do what I must
You had an evil plan, Thanos, and it left you in the dust
It must leave you enraged when you compare our talents
Because in this battle there is no balance
[Verse 3: Thanos]
For a communist pariah, you come off as awfully cocky
But I'll make you bend the knee in round two like Nagasaki
I'm the box office topper, the Marvel showstopper
Got my name on this win like it's the Thanoscopter
You just got no answer for Fortnite's dopest dancer
I will lowkey choke you out like my name was Throat Cancer
Verse 4: J. Robert Oppenheimer
You wanna talk about Death?
How about the one that looked at you and swiped left?
I'm the destroyer of worlds
You got your nuts handed to you by a Squirrel Girl
We're in the endgame now, Tinky Winky
I'll finish this like Ant-Man, all up in your stinky
Anyone who believes that "Thanos did nothing wrong" crap
Has obviously never heard you rap, oh snap
[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC- snap
Aw, man...