That's it
Looking back now, I didn't know what it was supposed to be
And it's like raising kids, man
If you weren't raised, you don't know how to raise, you know?
That's it
Looking back now, I didn't know what it was supposed to be
And it's like raising kids, man
If you weren't raised, you don't know how to raise, you know?
I just did the best that I could with them because
They know fuckin' well I love them
But I didn't do the best I could
I didn't know what the fuck I was doing
I didn't
I will never forget watching my mother get put in a straightjacket
And taken out of my home when I was only seven years old
She was diagnosed with Dementia praecox and put in a mental institution
Leaving my daddy alone with me and my little brother Lloyd
I later had an evil stepmother who further cemented the idea that I didn't need a mother
Growing up without one had long lasting influence I didn't fully understand until much later in life
It bled into my relationships with family and those I had became romantically involved with
Whenever I got too close to a woman, I would cut her off
Part of that was vindictive and partially based on fear
But it was also totally subconsious
Looking back is a bitch, isn't it?
Det er det
Ser tilbage nu, jeg vidste ikke, hvad det skulle være
Og det er som at hæve børn, mand
Hvis du ikke blev rejst, ved du ikke, hvordan du rejser, ved du det?
Jeg har lige gjort det bedste, jeg kunne med dem, fordi
De kender fuckin 'godt jeg elsker dem
Men det gjorde jeg ikke det bedste jeg kunne
Jeg vidste ikke, hvad fanden jeg gjorde
Jeg gjorde det ikke
Jeg vil aldrig glemme at se min mor blive sat i en straightjacket
Og taget ud af mit hjem, da jeg kun var syv år gammel
Hun blev diagnosticeret med demens praecox og sat i en mental institution
Forlader min far alene med mig og min lillebror Lloyd
Jeg havde senere en ondskabmor, der yderligere cementerede ideen om, at jeg ikke havde brug for en mor
Voksende op uden en havde langvarig indflydelse, jeg ikke fuldt ud forstod, før meget senere i livet
Det blæste ind i mine relationer med familie og dem, jeg var blevet romantisk involveret i
Når jeg kom for tæt på en kvinde, ville jeg skære hende af
En del af det var vindictive og delvist baseret på frygt
Men det var også helt subconsious
Ser tilbage er en tæve, er det ikke?