[Spoken: Quincy Jones]
That's it
Looking back now, I didn't know what it was supposed to be
And it's like raising kids, man
[Spoken: Quincy Jones]
That's it
Looking back now, I didn't know what it was supposed to be
And it's like raising kids, man
If you weren't raised, you don't know how to raise, you know?
I just did the best that I could with them because
They know fuckin' well I love them
But I didn't do the best I could
I didn't know what the fuck I was doing
I didn't
I will never forget watching my mother get put in a straightjacket
And taken out of my home when I was only seven years old
She was diagnosed with Dementia praecox and put in a mental institution
Leaving my daddy alone with me and my little brother Lloyd
I later had an evil stepmother who further cemented the idea that I didn't need a mother
Growing up without one had long lasting influence I didn't fully understand until much later in life
It bled into my relationships with family and those I had become romantically involved with
Whenever I got too close to a woman, I would cut her off
Part of that was vindictive and partially based on fear
But it was also totally subconscious
Looking back is a bitch, isn't it?
Eso es
Recordando ahora, no sabía lo que se suponía que era
Y es como criar niños, hombre
Si no fuiste criado, no sabes cómo criar, ¿sabes?
Hice lo mejor que pude, porque
Ellos saben muy bien que los quiero
Pero no hice mi mayor esfuerzo
No sabía qué carajo estaba haciendo
No lo hice
Nunca olvidaré ver a mi madre con una camisa de fuerza
Y sacada de mi casa cuando sólo tenía siete años
Le diagnosticaron demencia precoz y la internaron en una institución mental
Dejando a mi padre solo conmigo y mi hermano pequeño Lloyd
Más tarde tuve una madrastra malvada que consolidó la idea de que no necesitaba una madre
Crecer sin una madre tuvo una influencia duradera que no comprendí del todo hasta mucho más tarde
Se mezcló en mis relaciones con la familia y aquellos con los que me involucré románticamente
Cada vez que me acercaba demasiado a una mujer, la cortaría
Parte de eso era vengativo y parcialmente basado en el miedo
Pero también era totalmente subconsciente
Mirar hacia atrás es una mierda, ¿no?
Mirar atrás es una perra, ¿no es así?