[Spoken: Quincy Jones]
That's it
Looking back now, I didn't know what it was supposed to be
And it's like raising kids, man
[Spoken: Quincy Jones]
That's it
Looking back now, I didn't know what it was supposed to be
And it's like raising kids, man
If you weren't raised, you don't know how to raise, you know?
I just did the best that I could with them because
They know fuckin' well I love them
But I didn't do the best I could
I didn't know what the fuck I was doing
I didn't
I will never forget watching my mother get put in a straightjacket
And taken out of my home when I was only seven years old
She was diagnosed with Dementia praecox and put in a mental institution
Leaving my daddy alone with me and my little brother Lloyd
I later had an evil stepmother who further cemented the idea that I didn't need a mother
Growing up without one had long lasting influence I didn't fully understand until much later in life
It bled into my relationships with family and those I had become romantically involved with
Whenever I got too close to a woman, I would cut her off
Part of that was vindictive and partially based on fear
But it was also totally subconscious
Looking back is a bitch, isn't it?
[Hovor: QUINCY JONES]
To je to
Pozerám sa teraz, nevedel som, čo to malo byť
A je to ako zvyšovanie detí, muža
Ak ste neboli vychovávaní, neviete, ako zdvihnúť, viete?
Len som urobil to najlepšie, čo by som mohol s nimi, pretože
Poznajú fuckin 'No, milujem ich
Ale neurobil som to najlepšie, čo som mohol
Nevedel som, čo som robil kurva
Nie
Nikdy nezabudnem sledovať, že moja matka sa dostanem do priamky
A prevzaté z môjho domova, keď som bol len sedem rokov
Bola diagnostikovaná s demenciou Praecox a vložila do duševnej inštitúcie
Opustenie môjho otca sám so mnou a mojím malým bratom Lloyd
Neskôr som mal zlý nevlastnú matku, ktorý ďalej cemedoval myšlienku, že som nepotreboval matku
Vyrastanie bez toho, aby sme mali dlhotrvajúci vplyv, som úplne nerozumel, kým sa v živote úplne nerozumel
Bled do mojich vzťahov s rodinou a tí, ktorých som sa stal romanticky zapojeným
Kedykoľvek som sa príliš blízko k žene, som ju odrezal
Časť toho bola pomstychtivá a čiastočne založená na strachu
Ale to bolo tiež úplne podvedomie
Pri pohľade späť je suka, nie?