Oh whataburger
Texas-born titan
A-frame shelter
pilgrimage for the South
Oh whataburger
Texas-born titan
A-frame shelter
pilgrimage for the South
Church of meat grease and longer weights
Perfectly salted pulpit for the hungry
We are knelt before you and drive-thru
and car seat or
strangely-shaped table that consists of half booth, half chairs
We have come to receive your honey
butter chicken blessings
Your commercials our sermon William H Bassett
the narrator's voice is the equivalent
to that of my grandfather or
the Archangel Gabriel as he preaches You know that feeling you get when you could have ordered your burger with extra onions
grilled jalapenos
three slices of cheese
but you didn't and your buddy did?
That's what we call getting out-whataburger'd
36864 different customisable deities other fast-food chains are not
worthy of comparison
Burger King isn't open 24 hours
Chick-Fil-A does not serve 100% USDA
inspected fresh never frozen beef
McDonald's would benefit from a PR
lesson from you and Arby's
Arby's has enough problems
They chose to compete with like the fifth most popular meat option and Wendy's
Wendy's wants to be
you when she grows up
Your business model is not to guilt us with calories
but empower us with affirmation when you
say just like you like it
Oh whataburger you would be a sweet, sweet lover but that's for another poem
In high school you are a place to hang
that didn't involve the words "pasture
party"
In college you are our live 2:00
a.m. entertainment
You're the only place I've ever felt safe sitting next to a cop
What I'm trying to say is that I want to
talk the water burger drive-thru employee that I loved him
I was simultaneously on the phone with my girlfriend Kirsten and there may have
been some confusion from the bottom of my A1 thick and hearty heart of
hearts
thank you for the milkshakes
thank you for the ketchup thank you for the spicy ketchup
thank you for the
chicken strips and gravy southern
hospitality and apple pie goodness
and thank you for that one time Zach Hill ordered a sweet tea and the drive-thru
lady told me "I hope you like this I put
my heart into it"
I know you did
I know